I read an article today that seemed to be thoughtfully written by the author whom credentials are without question. Yet I wonder if the position that the author takes is in fact correct. You can read the article here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/post/why-parents-should-leave-their-kids-alone-at-college/2011/08/21/gIQAmxHLVJ_blog.html?tid=sm_twitter_washingtonpost
Quite simply, this article suggest that parents are hindering their sons and daughters by holding on to them and not letting go as they go off to college. As a parent that recently "let go" and has a child that is a first-year student in college I was very interested in this article yet disagree with the authors take that "This generation of parents has readily accepted that they have earned the Helicopter Parent label."
First, the "Helicopter Parent" has been around in some form or another for decades and is not a recent phenomena. For years many parents have maintained far too much control over their children and have effectively directed their children lives....there are many American Families that have regional and National Influence! Yet why does this generation of parents receive the label of "Helicopter Parent." As a college graduate and an individual that earned his way through college I witnessed first and how important it is to have you parents involved in the decision making process and how many students were "lost" and made decisions that were simply wrong because their parents were not involved or "hovering around." I wonder how many of these students relied on the experts and not their parents to assist them in the decision making process.
In fact, the author states that "However, sometimes, the best way to help your college student grow and succeed is to get out of the way and let them and the experts do their jobs together." This position is highly contradictory to the information that parents and children are given in grades K - 12 which there is enormous evidence that students in general perform better and have gratifying adolescent experiences when their parents are involved in their academic and social lives. Given that social media for example Facebook, and Twitter allow children to interact with their "Friends" @ an instant and in most cases when they are the most vulnerable I argue parents have been forced into being "Helicopter Parent."
I agree with the author that "Often, if parents are calling offices for information, it is likely an indication that there is a communication breakdown between the parent and student," and it is highly critical that parents maintain an open channel of communication. Still, the notion that "Parents should advise their student about whom to call on as a way of providing more guidance and less hands-on intervention" is in my opinion a break in the relationship of the child and parent. Prior to pushing your child in the direction of an "expert" a parent should try to fully understand the particular situation that the young adult is experiencing and together try to determine the best approach that will permit the outcome that is optimal for that individual situation. As such, this reasonable expectation working together to seek a result is best for the young adult... not getting out of the way and letting them and the experts do their jobs.
That is if you believe "experts" can be and are imperfect as well or is this an unreasonable expectation!
Bobby
